The “Tony Robbins of Dentistry” on Leadership, Cancer, Burnout & Calm Under Pressure

0:00There are people who talk about leadership under pressure, and then there are people who've actually lived inside it. My guest today is firmly in that second category. Before boardrooms and keynote stages, Paul Adamson spent twenty five years as a professional superyacht captain. He sailed around the world with a billionaire formula one team owner, Eddie Jordan, and his family, as well as a long list of well known celebrities, helped lead the commercial turnaround of oyster yachts, and two weeks after leaving that role, was diagnosed with stage three a follicular lymphoma. Today, he's a trusted adviser to founder led businesses and leadership teams around the world. He helps leaders create what he calls calm clarity momentum. I first met Paul last year when we were both speakers at doctor Arun Garg's event in Washington DC, and I'm glad we met then.

0:47But what struck me immediately was just that he has this unusual calm about him. And it's not a performative calm, it's a real calm, The kind that usually comes from experience. When you hear the story behind it, you'll understand why that makes a lot of sense. So Paul, I'm really glad you're here and, welcome to the Foundation Dental podcast, my friend. Oh, it's amazing to be on here, Jim. And of course, you and I haven't seen each other in person at least for twelve months or thereabouts. Right? And Yes. We have. Amazing weekend together with doctor Rengag. And we connected, we got on great. And, of course, I see you all the time on Instagram as I'm sure many people don't watch me. Oh, god.

1:23That's weird. I feel like, you know, at times at times, you have been in in my bed with me. Not that I should ever admit that call. So they always say, thrown out of the bedroom, but there you go. Oh, man. Same same here, Paul. I just I love following you from afar, you know, I mean, on social media and through all the projects that you've undertaken. I'm just really proud of you. I mean, you're you're a a great guy and somebody who creates so much value for so many other people. And having spent that time together and gotten to know you a little bit, you know, makes me makes me wanna, you know, jet over to The UK and, you know, spend some time, man.

1:58And I'll have to do that sometime soon. Yeah. 100%. You're welcome anytime, Jim. You come and see how we do it all over here, which certainly from a dental point of view, as I've just come back from The States about three weeks ago. Well, from a dental point of view, we are basically in the stone age in terms of how we operate. Not in terms of clinical, but in terms of how the efficiency is run-in terms of the business dentistry. But that's a whole other story. You know? Yeah. No. Absolutely. Well, you know, I've got some questions for you, so I'm gonna just jump right into it. You know, you spent thousands of hours at sea, you know, and and there, hesitation can become, like, really dangerous really quickly.

2:35But when you walk into a room full of leaders now, you know, what tells you within the first few minutes that something is off in that situation? You can feel the room. And I think, you know, that when we look at we go back to the Harvard piece around, you know, that most communication is nonverbal. Right? Mhmm. And, you know, they give those percentages at 7% of the words, and 38% is the way you say it, and then 55% is your physiology. Right? And that's so true. And so when you tune into that, we call it sent sensory acuity. Right? Actually, when we tune into that and you can feel a room, you can feel what's off. And so when I either walk out onto a stage or I go into a room with a business I'm working with, whatever the size of the team, I just trust what I feel, and I go with that.

3:18And then ask the right questions because you can feel the vibe. Right? And I think that that is one of the things that really underpins all of us, and it's probably the thing that going to see taught me the best thing, which was just how to manage my emotional state. And what I mean by that is that, you know, our emotional state has a shadow whether we realize it or not. So how we walk into the office first thing in the morning is how we show up. So if we walk in and let's say, I'm just gonna put a number on it, I have no idea. There's no science behind this. It's just pure subjective thing. But let's say around 40 feet around you is your emotional mood shadow, if you like.

3:58And then so if we walk in in a, you know, a low energy, poor emotional state, then guess what our team feels? They feel that office. Or if we walk in tents or, you know, if we walk in stressed. You know? And it's very easy to do that. Right? Because our minds are going second to none, and they're wearing all the stuff around. We go in. It's another day. And so before we've even opened our mouth, 93% of communication has happened. And so when you walk into a room, you feel I feel that instantly. I've just learned to tune into it. Now here's the flip side to that. Right? When you learn to manage your emotional state without any BS involved, it isn't like, you know, I'm happy.

4:35I'm happy. I'm happy, but you're not. You know what I mean? Right. Right. Genuinely, that actually you've got control and it's managed. Well, then what that means is you you can walk in in that calm, that centered, that place is just genuine that actually becomes, you you become a leader that your team can truly rely on. Tell you what, the first time you were introduced in front of a a crowd, when I was there at DC with you, you were introduced as the the Tony Robbins of dentistry. And this is precisely why. I mean, Tony Robbins talks a lot about changing your state and, you know, doing things that will will change your state and kind of improve not just your move, but that aura around you.

5:18And you do an exceptional job of that, you know, certainly with a group. I mean, it was really compelling, you know, how you you led some some just basic exercises that that really got everybody out of their heads and, you know, just vibrating at that right frequency. Yeah. 100%. And it's all about that if you think about it. Right? Because, you know and another word for state would be energy. Right? That's just something about a high emotional state, especially if you say to guys that, oh, come on. We're gonna manage your emotional state. Was like, I know. Out of there. See you later. You know what I mean? Yeah. The girls will lean in. Right? All the all the girls are, oh, great. You know?

5:54I've been telling I've been telling him this for years. He needs to manage his emotional state. And then so another way to say is energy. Right? And then so we talk about I always talk about having a low energy state being, zero or one that basically means, like, you you should really just be underground by now. Yeah. 10 being you're unstoppable, you're on fire. It's where do we consistently live on that scale. And why is it so important? Well, because energy drives engagement. And, actually, who we're trying to engage? If we think about it, when we walk to that into the office first thing in the morning, who are we trying to engage? Well, first, we've got to engage ourselves, but then we've got to engage our team.

6:29Right? We've got to engage them in a genuine way. Now why is that important? Well, of course, if we've got high energy, highly engaged team, then guess who else? What shadow do they cast out into that waiting room when that patient walks through the door? They fall. Absolutely. Boy, they do, don't they? Yeah. I mean, their their antennae are on high alert the second they walk in the door because as a general rule, people have some anxiety associated with that. And so they're they're hyper attentive to all of those little nuances. And when when the vibe is off at the office, it's off for the patients. And guess what? Patients aren't as comfortable, and patients aren't as likely to say yes. Not to mention just how that impacts the culture of your practice and the culture of your team.

7:10You know, in a day where it's harder than ever to to attract and retain top talent, you know, that energy that you bring to the stage, it it means everything, doesn't it? A 100%. It's everything. And here's the thing. It's that energy, it's it's not something you have. It's something you generate. And so what do I mean by that? And, you know, Tony teaches this all the time. Right? So he teaches the three levers that actually any of us can pull in any moment to manage our emotional state is focus, inner dialogue, and physiology. So let's just quickly explain that. Focus is super easy to explain because if we focus on basically every everything that's going wrong, all all that shitty stuff in life and all the stuff that yeah.

7:49Everything's gone wrong or what somebody said to us or what we've just seen on TikTok, Instagram, doomscroll, you know, first thing in the morning, then guess what? It lowers our energy. But if we focus on the blessed things we have in our lives, what we could be grateful for, all of these things, well, guess what? It just lifts our energy up. So that helps us. Focus is great. It's not enough, though, because there's more going on in there. Right? We all know we've got that little voice in our head. You know, the little voice that goes, are you sure you could do this? This British guy, is he willing? He I mean, his teeth aren't as big as Tony's. The point is, right, is that, actually, you know, the inner voice is really important because here's the truth.

8:31Right? No one beats ourselves up more than ourselves. Really? No one. No matter what anybody else says to us, if we say it to ourselves, that hurts, man. That really hurts. Actually being kind to ourselves from our inner dialogue point of view is so important. And I always talk about the critic and the coach. Me meaning there's two voices, and some people call it the chimp or impostor syndrome, whatever you wanna call It's basically the voice that I had. And I always talk about that there's the critic. It's like, you know, you sure you could do this? I mean, how would you do this? Blah blah blah. The one that kinda holds you back a little bit. Or you've got the coach, and the coach is the one that goes, come on, Jim.

9:08You've got this. No problem. We'll find the way through. You know? That's the coach. And the key is being able to turn down the volume of the critic and turn off the volume of the coach. That takes a bit of time to manage. What's really helped me is I've named mine. And so I talk to my critic. I talk to my coach. And it's okay because, actually, the drugs and the medication is working now. We're all good. You know? But we know from the outside point of view is actually just naming that and doing that work on our inner dialogue and what we're saying to ourselves. And make sure we're our own cheerleader and not waiting for anything on the outside to Absolutely. Who we are.

9:45And I think that that is such an important point is we live now in a world where, you know, it is driven a lot by social media and a lot by the media where it's all about, you know, a filtered world of, you know, you put a picture on social media, how many likes you get, how many of this, do you hook into that, all this stuff. And that's a filtered world. But the truth is we've got a just as Van Morrison said in one of his songs that I love, and he said, you've got a search for happiness inside yourself and don't go chasing thinking it is somewhere else. Like, that's true words of wisdom. Right? Yeah. Many of us can get caught in this chasing or we've gotta be doing this.

10:21We've gotta grow the practice by this. We oh, your team isn't big enough. We've gotta be doing more treatments. We've gotta be doing all on x. We gotta be there. Grow. Grow. Grow. It's happened. Always something. All we're looking for is that feeling of self worth and that feeling of, actually, I'm cool. It's all good. And then so that's number two. So that's inner dialogue, being our own cheerleader. Number three, most important bit that actually has more influence over anything else to our with our emotional state is our physiology. That's just how we move. Right? So what Tony always said, if if we're talking Tony language, right, is that take the word emotion, off e. What do you got? Motion. That's the clue. Right? Yeah.

10:56So how we move ourselves is so important. You know, if we said that there was somebody just off screen here, they're totally down and they're totally having a really bad day, what do they look like? Well, what we'd all do is we'd put our shoulders down, we'd put our heads down, we'd kind of power our body up a little bit, and guess what? It creates a biochemical reaction inside of us that creates low energy. And so the key is being able to move. So that's why it's just such a simple thing like going for a walk. It clears the head. You know, it's all stuff we know, but unless it's brought into our conscious awareness, then actually what happens is most people just run on autopilot.

11:32And then so what happens is that they run on autopilot, and then they bounce off different, you know, experiences that come into our life. Some positive, some that are somewhere in the middle, and then some that are negative or some that we never want to experience, but they've but they've been brought to us. And then what happens is that becomes the manager of our emotional state. And what I really learned is actually and this is what going to see really does teach you, is that when you're out there and it's hard to describe here in a lit office. Right? But when you're out there on a dark and stormy night, right, okay, where, you know, it's completely dark, the yacht's healed over like this, and there's spray everywhere.

12:11You can talk, but your crew can't hear you because of the noise of the wind and the rigging. Communication becomes a really important thing. Leadership becomes a really important thing. Frameworks don't help you then. Right? So, actually, what that does is it strips it all back to whatever goes on in the outside world. One of the most important things is the ability to manage our emotional state. Why? Because in those moments, remaining calm is so important. Why? Because it allows you to properly think about the next move and not go into a stressed state. And in a stressed state, our brain runs a million miles an hour, and we and we've not really thought something through. You know? You have slowly. Get that bit of space away, you know?

12:55Yeah. Sailing teaches you. I wanna I wanna go back to kind of the beginning, you know, seminal moment in your life. You know, I know your your dad passed away when you were relatively young, and I I think that's that was kind of the start of your, like, real passion with the sea, you know, being out there sailing. I mean, what what did that do for you emotionally being out there on the water as a young man, you know, that you you really couldn't find anywhere else? I think it's just a a real deep sense of freedom. Mhmm. I was in control. I think, you know, even now, it's really interesting to have the conversation now because, you know, my dad, you know, had lots of issues.

13:32Our parents all do. Right? No one's given them the handbook. So and that's cool. He played the role he was meant to play. You know, what happened was that, you know, I grew up with quite a bit with quite a severe stammer. Occasionally, you might hear me tumble over my words, but, you know, I've pretty much got under control. Now occasionally, I'll stammer a bit. But what happened was that when my father died, it was almost like all of that dissipated, and all of that kind of emotional turmoil we went through as children just dissipated. And what was crazy was when my mom told me, and I I remembered the moment when she said your your father died today. You know, I I just totally broke down.

14:08I didn't expect that, right, at all. I did not expect that at all. And then so what happened was I was like, god. How am I gonna sort my head out? How am gonna sort my head out here? And it really came down to I'm just gonna do what I love to do, which is sail. I can get in a boat. I can push out from the shore. And if I'm on the sea, I can literally go anywhere in the world. And, yeah, sometimes I gotta get through a bit of weather and do all that, but it's pure and utter freedom. I guess it I guess for me, sailing became a coping strategy to get through that period of in time, but also build resilience.

14:41But also then what happened was, like, it you know, it's led me on a journey that really has been the red thread all the way throughout my life. Well, you know, you've even referred to sailing as kind of your first leadership school or leadership training. You know, what what do you feel like you you've learned sailing that you couldn't learn from a business book? So I think number one is manage your emotional states. It's all about that. Number two, it's about leading a, you know, a relatively small team under pressure in an environment that is very different from the norm. Now what do I mean by that? And and this is why it's, you know, it's fun now with the dental team that work with us because that's a small team, And I just view it as that dental office is is a yacht, basically.

15:24And we're sailing it. You know? And, yeah, I'll pull not not another sea metaphor. Anyway, you know, but the but, you know, but sailing teaches you. You're in this environment. The yacht's hailed over and at sea. So even on the most luxury of vessels, right, and the yacht I took around the world is the one that's in this image here. Right? That's sailing yacht Lush. So she's 90 foot oyster. Wow. And and, basically, even on that yacht that is beautifully built, that's got plasma screens and air conditioning and all this stuff, people can be unhappy. Because the only problem that happens when somebody sails halfway around the world into the middle of the Pacific where it's beautiful with turquoise waters. The wind's 10 knots. It's not a cloud in the sky.

16:06The only problem is they bring themselves with them. Meaning that actually any any kind of emotional patterns that haven't been supporting them or any issues or any chips on the shoulders come with them. It's with us. Yeah. And therefore, it manifests. Now here's the thing about a boat. It's like a pressure cooker. And so even on these luxury vessels, it's quite a small space. So if you could imagine your dental team and living with them twenty four seven for at least twenty five days at sea as you cross an ocean. Right. Living with them. And it and it and there's no getting off now. There's no, like, I'm out of here. That's worse. Yeah. Yeah. No. You have to. And then so sailing taught me how to build, you know, and I always say that one of the things I learned very quickly was how to run a happy ship.

16:51Now translate that into the business world. That's a happy team. Yeah. So as pressure comes on, as as natural pressure comes on, it's how to keep a team smiling. It's how to keep a team focused on the right things. It's how to keep it light hearted. It's how to keep an energy and a vibe so it's good fun. All of those things. Not to say there won't be challenges, because, of course, a storm at sea that comes in demands us all to bind together strong, but also a storm in the business world, whatever it may be, or, you know, treatment hasn't gone the way you expected or all the other stuff that can go wrong. It's the same pressure. It's just a different environment. Yeah.

17:24I wanna get into that this that time you spent with Eddie Jordan to out at sea. I mean, it was almost two years, I think, like 30,000 some miles. And and that's a long time to be in those close quarters with somebody. And I know just from our previous conversations that he became a real kind of mentor and father figure to you. You know, what what did he teach you about life? I know he was a billionaire and, like, had all these great businesses and, you know, Formula One team owner and everything. But what did he teach you about life that had nothing to do with business during all that time together? Eddie taught me to, first of all, have fun and don't take yourself too seriously.

17:58I think that would be number one. Number two was he really taught me to believe in myself and back myself. He'd always say, if you don't back yourself, how is anyone else ever gonna back you? You've gotta back yourself. You've gotta have and he always said, Paul, all all you need to go and do is go and get a PhD. And I said, He goes, yeah. Pigheaded determination. I'm like, okay. No. I mean, you know, for sure. You know? But Eddie, like, you know, if you look at what he did, and I know that f one now is is beginning to get real proper foothold over with you guys over in The States. Right? It is. What Eddie did could not be done anymore. And what do I mean by that?

18:37He was a private team owner that came into a sport that demanded huge sums of money to actually create and engineer these these cars and get the best drives and all of these things. And, you know, he came in as the Corinthian effort, and he basically got himself up onto the top of the leaderboard. It was amazing. The stories that I learned from Eddie in terms of how he just created something out of nothing. You see, I always remember a moment of Ed from Eddie, and there was one where there's one in particular that I'll share now that I just think sums Eddie up completely. And that is I remember being anchored in a place called Wahini, which is one of the islands of Tahiti in French Polynesia.

19:20It's beautiful. Right? And so Maria, his wife had gone ashore. Audrey and my wife had gone ashore, and the girls were off doing their own thing. And so ended up just myself and Eddie on board Lush. And so Eddie was like, come on. We'll have a sharpener. A sharpener is like a little whiskey or something like that. Right? So, anyway, out comes a little whiskey or whatever it was, and I forget. And he sits down, and and we're sitting on the back of the yacht. The sun is setting down at this beautiful blue ocean. And, of course, what I'd learned is that I was always really inquisitive to what makes somebody at the top of their game. What makes them truly successful? What's the psychology behind it?

19:55Because, of course, if we can learn what somebody does, well, then we could just model them. Right? And then, hopefully, I think but also just Yeah. We can learn, and we can grow at the same time. So I'm always looking for those little insights, those little nuggets of gold. So I said, Eddie, so listen. You know, clearly, you're all over the financial world. I said, but at some point, you'll leave the planet. I said, when you do, if if there is nothing that you could leave for your children but one thought, one insight, one way of being, what would it be? And he sat back and he goes, no one's ever asked me that before. And so and then the hairs of my neck go up because I'm like, okay.

20:32Good. We're gonna get something new. We're gonna get right in there. Right? I love it. Yeah. And so and he goes, alright. He goes, well, listen. He said he said, I know what I would want to give them. I was like, okay. What? He goes, well, back in 2003, I got wind that DHL wanted to come on board and sponsor a Formula one team. And he said, Paul, the way it works in Formula one, it is so cutthroat. It's so fast that if you get just even the width of an opportunity, you gotta move and you gotta move instantly. Otherwise, somebody else is gonna be there ahead of you. Oh, that's good. So I said, well and? And he goes, well, I got straight on the phone to DHL.

21:09I got straight on the phone to him and said, hey. Listen. I heard you wanna kind of or you're thinking about coming in and sponsoring a Formula one team? They go, well, we are ready. Listen. We are the team for you. We're young. We are dynamic. We are absolutely gonna take your brand to the next level. You know? It'd be fantastic. You know, we're young, up and coming. We find the young talent, and we build them up. And they go, cool, Eddie. Cool. He said, but listen. I just need to speak to my other sponsor, just so to obviously make sure they're on board, you know, because I've got commitments elsewhere. So, okay, cool, Adi. So he puts the phone down, picks up the phone to the other thing.

21:43So now he's speaking to British American tobacco at the time, and so he's sponsored by Benson and the Hedge as a cigarette firm. Now, of course, that's not cool anymore. We know why for health reasons, but that's what it was back in the early two thousands, you know, early two thousands. Right? And so he speaks to BNH. He goes, oh, hey, Eddie. How are you? He said, listen. I've got great news. DHL wanna come on board. They wanna match your funding. And you know how it is in Formula One. He who has the most money, has the best engine, can get the best drivers, can get the best team. Can you know, we we should go up the leaderboard. And so, like, yeah. That sounds great.

22:18That sounds great. It's listen. There's only one bit. Could we just have it just a little bit of white space on the car? And they were like, Yes. Yeah. You know, just a bit of white space on the car. No way. What? No way, Eddie. We agreed the car would be yellow. That's that. Listen. If you wanna go with DHL, that's no problem at all. You go that way. But if you wanna stick with us, you need to honor your agreement. That's that. So he puts the phone down without even hesitating. He goes, Paul, I picked up the phone to DHL. What'd you say? B and H, love it. We'll sign it in two weeks. Called now, and so now I'm having a little bit more whiskey.

22:51Right? So I'm coming in. I'm coming right in going, Jesus. How did just to even do that. I'm not sure I have the confidence just to do that, but you do it right. And then I said, so so what on earth happened? He goes, well, goes fast forward two weeks. I walk into Canary Wharf in London to some big boardroom, you know, the big types you walk in, big long brown desk, brown chairs, loads of faces sticking around. He goes, walk in. Of course, Hidde walked in with with his normal kind of, eccentric, flamboyant self. Right? And so he comes bustling through the door, and he goes, ladies and gentlemen, today, we are gonna take your brand to the next level. He said, you know what?

23:30We can take DHL, and we can absolutely blow it out of the water. He said, now I would love to take your money off you, but I can't. Bro, what? Can't. I can't. I just can't do this. I thought we would sign in this deal, Eddie. I thought we were gonna sign up. No. No. I can't. Well, why? He goes, well, let me just share something with you. And he turns to his PA. He's like, dish them out. Dish them out. Dish them out. Right? And so she goes around, Out go these little pamphlets. Right? He goes, guys, girls, turn the page. Tell me what you say. Page go, we see one yellow van and nine white vans. Exactly. Turn the page again. Turn the what you see?

24:09We see one yellow plane and nine white planes. Exactly. He said, the reality is your brand as it stands is boring. Maroon letters on a on a white background. I mean, it's boring, guys. You're about excellence delivered. Look at that. You're about excellence delivered. You're about all of these things. I said Brilliant. You know, the whole reality is, I said, if you keep your brand like this, you ain't gonna go anywhere. So there's no point me taking my the cash off you because I'm not gonna be able to deliver where you want to go until you realize you've gotta up your brand. He goes, Eddie, are you seriously telling us to rebrand the whole of DHL? He goes, yes. I am. Now no marketeer will tell you to do that, but I will tell you now that is what you need to do.

24:58But well, Eddie, this is a big decision. This is a huge decision. Like, there's no way I mean, there's no way we could make that now. He goes, that's no problem. I totally get it. It's no worries. Look. I'll see you later, and best of luck with that. And maybe you go with one of the boring teams like Williams or somebody like that. He knew. He knew it. Turn around, and he walked out the door. Within half an hour, they called. And off that conversation, DHL rebranded the whole of their business to the Unraveling. And the yellow that you see today on every plane and van. What is turned to me, and he said, Paul, if I couldn't leave anything to my children but this, I would just want to leave them this one piece, and I'm like, you gotta believe in yourself.

25:45Wow. There's always a way. Said even in that moment, in that moment when b h b and h said no, I just knew I had to pick up the phone to DHL and lock it in. Otherwise, if I allowed my mind to think that in a dialogue, that little impostor, to to think, it would have stopped me picking up the phone again. We said I locked it in, and then that gave me two weeks to figure out how I was gonna get the solution. Now now I wasn't guaranteed to get the solution, but you know what? One of my core beliefs, Paul, is there's always a way. He said, Paul, when I die, you remember always believe in yourself. Always believe there's always a way.

26:22Even if you can't see it in the moment, no matter what life's no no no matter what shit life throws at you, there's always a way to find a way through it. Well, it wasn't one of his other core beliefs or things that he taught you to believe in other people without condition. And, you know, that's a big concept, and that's not an easy thing to do. I mean, it's one thing to believe in yourself and what you bring to the table, but to believe in other people without condition, I mean, that's that's a it's a different kind of concept. Who who do you think taught him that concept? I think he, you know, he kind of grew up and kind of found his way through.

26:56And I think the just the culture of Ireland, everyone helps each other out. Yeah. And so there's a real family side to the country of Ireland that's beautiful. And, you know, everyone helps each other out. So he he was always about and, actually, what he loved, and that's a great question because I'm really thinking now, is what he loved was he loved giving people what we would call a leg up in life. Nice. That really lit him up. Why did so many people did the same thing for him? So if he was here now, and of course, he passed away about a year ago. Right? Is that is that if he was here now, he'd be like, I I didn't there's no way he would have consciously realized that, but that he loved helping people move forward.

27:39And I tell you what he also loved was he loved giving the young people, the young generation coming up, the chance to shine, the chance to just open the door for them. Now he would always say, get the young people because they're freaking cheap. Right? And there is an element of that. Right? However however, the point is is that actually giving those young people a shot at something big, oh, just opening a door for them and not having a condition of, oh, you've gotta have done twenty years of this, so you've gotta have done this. Just them a shot. Let people fly and just and just without the condition. I think that's a great a great point, and I think it's very apropos when you talk about dental practices.

28:19You know, dentists tend to be micromanagers and wanna do everything, think they're the smartest, the most talented, whatever they may be, but you can't do everything. You become the bottleneck. And so when you do lift up the people around you, when you do give them opportunities to lead, they they grow. You know? And generally speaking, they're gonna take the ball and run with it, and they'll surprise you. And sounds like Eddie figured that out relatively early. And now that's a message that, you know, you're able to share with with the world, you know, and certainly the the dental industry specifically. Going back though, you know, thinking about being out on the sea and just how, you know, hesitancy or indecisiveness has real consequences. I mean, you could die.

28:57I mean, we're talking life and death. You know, in business, a lot of times those those things, the consequences are slower and they're not quite as visible. I mean, which for you, which is harder to to navigate or lead through? I think the thing to recognize is our brain doesn't know the difference between what's real or what's vividly imagined. And then so the fear that I would, let's say, feel it, see in terms of making a decision, and the fear that you might be in a boardroom or in your dental practice kind of or not sure. It's the same fear. It feels the same thing, and the pressure is the same. We create the pressure. Right? Or we feel pressure. So, you know, our brain you know, it's a very real experience.

29:35I think the reality is being able to lead whatever is going on in the outside world. That is the key. And not getting wrapped up in what's going on in that. So, yes, it can be I mean, I think the difference between, like, being in a business or a c, at c, you have to make a decision. You can't you know, because It's it's right now in the moment. Gotta do it. And you know what? You have to make a decision without all the perfect information. Mhmm. So many people now have what I call poor decision making muscles and the fact that they need to feel certain to make a decision. So every it's gotta be data led, data led, I need data. I need five years of data.

30:10By the time you've read the data, we've already gotten, like because, actually, we've just made the decision. I think the key is with decision making, you've gotta make it and not worry about whether it's the wrong decision or not. So many people just worry, oh my god. Is this the wrong decision? And the reality is no decision is also a decision, and that decision stalls you. It's true. Try not to get I always say try not to get caught or try actually is actually a bad word because try. If you've ever seen Star Wars, it's like do or do not. Right? Exactly. Not. Yeah. So you just wanna make a freaking decision and actually not worry about if it's the wrong decision. Because if it is the wrong decision, you'll figure out super quick.

30:50And then here's the next skill that many people have issues with, flexibility. Meaning, I made this call. It was wrong. I was mistaken. We're gonna go back the other way. And being able to say that in front of your team and not feel like you can't say it because you're the big leader or whatever it may be. So zigzag principle. You know, you you have a you have a a goal, you know, or something that you wanna work towards, and you start in this direction. But, you know, you may have to zig, then you may have to zag. And by the way, the goal may change over time. That might also be a moving target, but I think the the point is, you know, always keep forward momentum.

31:26Just keep moving and have faith that it's all gonna come together as long as you learn from each of those, you know, maybe mistakes or, you know, errors in judgment you make along the way. Yeah. And I think also as well just to be comfortable with it with the fact that none of us have got to figure it all out. It's for damn sure. We're all learning. And as long as we're as long as we know what the next move is and have made the decision that where are we gonna go, then it's fine. Right? It's kind of when people go, oh, I'm trying to get to this kind of outcome. And, you know, and and I think I think what's really interesting, I think it really goes with your profession as well.

31:58Right? Because I see this all the time. And I say my beautiful wife who is a dentist, you know, is patient photos. Right? So, you know, you get those wonderful photos at the end. Right? Audrey had some incredible work, beautiful work. And then what happens, some mom's time that, oh, we should use that like the before and after. It's like, no. We can't share that. I said, why? Oh, because it's just this little bit Oh, man. I remember those days. Oh, yeah. And I was like, Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. I said, it's the patient habit. Patient love, patient delight, and patient tears of joy. Oh, yeah. But another dentist might see it. Oh my god. What what does that mean? What does that mean? You know?

32:35And that's and, actually, then, you know, and I'm kinda taking the makeup of it. But, actually, the point is the more I've worked, you know, across the profession, the more I've seen that. And I think it comes with a thing. Right? Because you guys, the tolerances you guys work work with is so small. I can't even get my head around, like, the tolerances you work with. It's intense tens of millimeters. You know? And when you're trying to create perfect symmetry from the right side to the left side and you are a perfectionist, you see those tiny imperfections that the patients almost never notice. But those are things that just stick in the back of your mind that Yeah. Just bug you. Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. And that and that, and I've seen this certainly in the Denver, that then can be the blocker for moving forward because because that pattern of perfectionism then can be transferred to other areas of the business of dentistry.

33:21True. As in, oh, the website isn't quite right. Oh, no. The letter's not quite right. It's or, you know, or this isn't quite right. Or this team member hasn't reacted in a certain way that I would expect them to react. All these different things. Right? And then so it's very easy for that pattern then to kind of be a broad brush that actually then can just unsticking that pattern and changing it can unlock a huge just a lot of ease. You know? You know, speaking of business and kind of some of your experience, and I know before you even walked through the door door at Oyster, you know, trust had already been broken. You know? And that happens in business. It happens in life. And, you know, what's the first real conversation do you have with people when, you know, they don't have a real reason to even believe in the brand anymore?

34:03I mean, that was a miraculous turnaround. I mean, what how do you even approach a challenge like that? So, again, just like what we're talking about, it's just what's the next move? What's the next move? And not and not be, you know, and be comfortable with you might only know the next move. Conversations to rebuild trust just have to be open and honest and have to just be, you know, really like, listen. We're the new team that has come in, you know, explain, you know, explain. I've got a lot of history with Oyster through being not in Oyster, but on the client side, you know, skipping various oysters and taking, you know, this one around the world. So I understand the brand. I know what needs to be done.

34:38And, we're gonna be honest with you, and we're gonna create and we're gonna put the family back into it and the values back into the business and and rebuild trust. Trust is everything. Right? I always say the business is no more than people and trust. And as long as you work on both of those consistently, you can't go too far wrong. You know? Absolutely. But, you know, that I mean, that was a rebuilding process. And, I mean, during that process, were there times where you thought privately, man, I'm not sure this is gonna work? I mean, did did you have any doubts? Of course. Yeah. Of course. I lie. Any humor, Ben. There's always times we doubt. Right? But you just look for the little wins, and you let them stack on top of each other and let them compound on each other.

35:14So I think that there was uncertainty in the early days. There wasn't a fear of failure there at all because it like, the business already failed. So, you know, it was like, well, actually There's nowhere to go but up. Right? Yeah. Yeah. So if you kinda rebuild from there, But we were super clear that and I guess one one of the biggest insights I got out of it is that for people to move forward with you, let's say, as a business Mhmm. They need to feel certain about three particular things. Right? The first is they need to feel certain about the product or the service, that it is the right thing for them. Now I wanna let's link this back into dentistry. So that would be treatment.

35:51Right? Is is is this particular treatment the right treatment for them? Is it gonna get them their, desired outcome? And more importantly, is it gonna be what they need? Right? And that's for you guys. You You that's your expertise. And then so you've got the treatment itself, but that's not enough. There's two more c's. Right? The second c is they've gotta feel certain and confident in the person that they're interacting with to actually get to that point of saying, yes. I'm in. So they've gotta feel that that person has their best interests at heart, and they're not there just to make a sale, to close a treatment, to do whatever. That that actually they're there for them acting almost as a fiduciary, right, in terms of actually saying, look.

36:29I'm here. This is what I recommend. This is why I'm having that. And then the third c is they've gotta have certainty and feel certainty in the organization that they're engaging with. Now that would be a dental practice. So, you know, if we've been online and we've seen the Google reviews are super poor, we're never gonna pick up the phone and go to the practice. Right? Or, you know, if we go in and let's say the reviews were good, but we go in and the front desk are just not in a great space and they're casting a low energy state shadow. Right? Well, then, actually, guess what? We might start to get a little bit nervous. So we we'll probably go through and go through the, you know, the consultation.

37:04Mhmm. But are we gonna say yes to no? Because then if there's a if there's a doubt, that doubt might get in the way. So really understanding those, and what we did with the business was we said, okay. Based on just those three c's, what are the pillars that we need to put in place and so that we are constantly messaging that? So one of the c's was the fact that one of the yachts had an issue, which is ridiculous. It never should have issues, but it had a structural issue. And so what we did was we put third party verification on through Lloyd's register. This would basically be like every airplane in the world has a certificate of airworthiness that's issued by the FAA in The States, right, that actually then says, yep.

37:43This aircraft based on you know, we've checked it. We've checked the design. It's built as per design, and we checked the maintenance. It's safe to fly. Right? So yeah. Because none of us have gotten a plane right if it didn't have that. You know? If it's, oh, yeah. Be alright. Don't worry. We checked it twenty five years. It goes fine. It's fine. Don't worry. Jump off. Pretty sure I've been on some planes internationally that that weren't fully up to speed. I'm sure. Yeah. Yeah. A few probably slipped through the net. Right? And then and then so and then so we did a piece of work around that. Then what we did was we super opened and created content, digital content around the people in the business and then the owner of the business.

38:21And then what we did was we started then basically drip feeding that out into the market. Why was that important? Because digital assets are amazing. Because, of course, they can work twenty four seven. They work while we sleep. Right? Somebody could be watching this. Now this is totally applicable in the dental world. That could you know, digital asset could be a patient video testimonial. It could be, you know, a a video from you as the dentist or your team explaining a treatment. It could be front office explaining how the process of booking in work. It could be whatever, mate. They're all digital assets that we can leverage. And therefore, you know, combining those three to think, actually, all we ever wanna do is build is build these three levels of certainty up.

39:03What that does is over time, and it does take time, is it earns trust. And earn is the free world word. Right? We gotta earn it. That's right. Absolutely. You were I mean, you now you're working with founders, business founders all the time. I know that's that's kind of your spades and you're really good at it. You're really effective. I think that people who have never founded a business, you know, have never, like, been in the trenches doing exactly that. They don't understand all the kind of emotional burdens that that founders often feel. You know? I mean, especially if they're stoic and they they hide it all and everything, you know, on the outside looks perfect. What what do people not understand about founders and and the psychology behind that?

39:44I think the key there is is there's two different mindsets. You know? And it's very easy. Let's take it into the dental world. Right? When you're an associate, you know, is you know, you turn up, you do your dentistry on time, and then you go home at 05:00, and then, hopefully, you switch off for the evening. Right? Hopefully. Hopefully, the business owner I've never been very good then, unfortunately. But let's say then that the the practice owner goes home at night. Well, whatever needs to be done before the next day needs to be done that night. Yes. That's that's me. That's my mentality. And then so and then so this kind of two to my so I think the point the point is what's on a founder?

40:23It is so many things. One is, obviously, you know, like, if we if we cut right back to the chase of the two deepest fears that any human being on this planet has, the two deepest fears, I'm not enough. I'm not good looking enough. I'm not rich enough. My treatment isn't good enough. This enough. My this enough. That enough. And because of I feel I'm not enough or I fear I'm not enough, then what's the consequence of that? It means I won't be loved. The truth is we're all lucky for love. Right? Yeah. What happens is a lot of founders, you see that when they go home, that that there's a big fear of failure there. Right? You know? Because our society, especially now, it's such a way that everyone's successful.

41:01Everyone's got a private jet. Everyone's got theirs. Everyone's got that. They're I don't have a private jet. What are saying? They're all helping us well. I haven't I never had a private jet. Come on, man. Come on. The well, there's this influence to go and chart for ten minutes, take a picture, and then throw it online. Everyone thinks they're on a private Anyway That yeah. Good point. That's right. But the point the point is is that, actually, you know, founder carries the weight of the business with them. You know? Like, you know, it's, you know, it's that, you know, for them, you know, when they go home, they're thinking, have we you know? And, you know, at times, like, especially if we've got cash flow issues, whatever it may be, can we actually pay the team at the end of the month?

41:40So can I walk in and look them in the eye knowing that the bank account is not as full as it needs to be to actually pay you guys? Right. There's that pressure, but then I've gotta turn up. And especially in the dental world, for you guys, it's really tough being like a practice owner because it's like you go in in the morning, you've got, what, ten minutes to be the CEO, if that, and then and then and then you go into surgery, then the next thing, chairs go down, in you go. Off you go. Okay? And then you come back out at lunch, and then you've got you need to eat something, feel up a bit, and then it's a case of, oh, great.

42:12I've got ten, fifteen minutes to be the CEO again. And now and now, oh, bit of being a film, but tired. Oh god. Okay. Patients run. Okay. Off we go again. Chances go back. In we go again. Come back out the edge of the Oh god. I must I've gotta communicate the vision to the team. Like, you're bringing back some clarity. Vivid memories from twenty five years ago. You know, as a new practice that I remember I mean, I was everything. You know, everything. I mean, I remember being in the middle of all that and having to go out and shovel the sidewalk, you know, and put Yeah. Yeah. You know, put salt down and make sure nobody slips and falls and all those kinds of things.

42:43And you're right. And, unfortunately, as we both know, dentists come out of dental school without those particular skill sets. There's not a lot of training for business or for communication or for leadership. And then you get out there, you thrust into this situation. We're expected to just kinda figure it all out. You know? And most of us are doing it d y DIY, trial and error, and more error than, you know, success a lot of times. And, you know, that's why people like you or other coaches and mentors are so important Just to kinda show the way. Because, if you've never been a founder, if you've never owned a business, you just can't fathom the number of decisions and the complexity of decisions and the constant nature of of that being on your your heart and mind.

43:25Yeah. A 100%. And, of course, what can happen is from the business side, and I think that this is a real issue for all of us, every single one of us, whether we're a business owner or not, is we like, we live in this world now where we're always on, and, like, that is actually not healthy for us. Long long term, like, we need space to switch off and to actually spend quality time with our family and our friends. Yeah. And so many but, you know, it's so like, you know, I don't know about you, Jim, but for me, I mean, I have this little thing that if it goes outside this, like, two meter radius of me, I freak out. I go crazy. It's it's I don't I don't know what they call it, but these these little things, oh my god.

44:04It's here. It's even here. Right? Okay. I know. I know. Actually, happens is it pings, and there's this thing called WhatsApp. And there's these things of all this other stuff coming at us, and it's really hard, in fairness, to get just space for ourselves and space with our family and our kids. And that's the other thing that founders find. You know? Like, you go home and the business is always on your own. The business becomes pervasive throughout our whole life. Now it does like, business is not easy. You know? It isn't easy, and it and it takes a lot of grit and a lot of grind and a lot of focus. And but there comes a point where a business grows to a certain point that where you run into yourself.

44:43And all of these stages are really predictable, actually, you know, in terms of how big the team gets and what the revenue is. It's really predictable, the kind of issues that a business will be having. And then so and then and then so, well, this is how you operate the next level because then we gotta systemize. We we gotta let the systems do the heavy lifting for us. Then we've gotta trust the systems to do it so then we can switch off and do all of those things. So I think the whole weight of running a practice, all of that, a business, whatever it may be, it's tough. Yeah. It's tough. You know? It's tough. You know? And and you just hit on something. You know?

45:13Sit. You gotta trust your systems, and you gotta trust your people. And and, frankly, at the end of the day, at the end of your your career, I guess, when it comes time to transition to, you know, to whoever's going to buy your practice, assuming you sell at some point, those are the things that are most important from valuation standpoint. It's really the people at systems. That's what they're buying. They're not buying you because without you, you know, it's gotta be able to continue to work. And if you're the one making all the decisions and you're do the one doing all of the heavy lifting, well, guess what? There's not a lot of value there because it's so damn risky. So everything that you teach, Paul, is really about freeing up freeing up dentists to have have more work life balance.

45:51But along the way, they're also a lot more fulfilled. They're gonna make more money. They're gonna have better culture. They're gonna have a team that is happier and healthier and more productive. And then at end the of the line, you're going to transition in a much more positive way. More money, better partner, and all that sort of thing. You create an asset that's not just sellable, but it's desirable. And that's what gives you leverage towards the end of your career. A 100%. And then as you transition into the next stage because, of course, we're really tough then to then when you get to that point where you retire or you solve the business Mhmm. That actually then point, it's like, suddenly, who am I? Yeah.

46:29Right? Because, of course, what happens there and, you know, I absolutely found this with Oyster. My whole identity got wrapped up in the business. Yeah. Now that wasn't good because then when it meant when I came out of the business, suddenly, I didn't know who the hell it was. And it's like, well, I'm well, I'm I'm the CCO of Oyster. Well, who cares, really? Yeah. And I think this is the thing. Right? We all go to the dinner parties. We'll go to parties. Oh, what do you do? I'm there. But we are so much more than what we do as a profession or as a job or as a role. We are way more than that. You're right. Disattaching our identity from actually what we do to actually who we are Yeah.

47:04Is a big piece of work there that when that's done, god, you could just blow the lights up because in a really great way for ourselves. Because then suddenly, it means whatever goes on on the outside, it doesn't matter because on the inside, we feel great. You know? And, you know, Paul, you really hit on something again there. I mean, that identity piece, it's so true. You know, whether you're a founder of a some business out in the the outside world or you're a dental practice owner, you do. You you know, your identity does get very much wrapped up in that. And I I've been guilty of that. I mean, multiple stages of my life, my identity has been way too tied to one thing or one activity or one business.

47:40And and that's problematic. It's risky because if that's ever taken away or if you make the choice to make a change, like, what do you settle back on? And I I'll be honest. I struggled with that eleven years ago when I sold my practices. It was like, man, like, who am I now? I've been Smiles by Arnold and Associates for as long as I can remember. That's my reputation. That's how everyone knows me. And, like, god, what's next? And I think it's important to always be thinking about that, thinking about what's next. And I I think, you know, a coach like you, somebody who has dealt with those kinds of issues personally and with other clients, you know, you're you're perfectly you you're the perfect person to help guide people along that way.

48:18Yeah. Well, thanks for that, Jim. And and I love that. And I think, you know, that that's what I found is that when I've gone you know, when you do these reflective pieces about what our journeys are through life. You know? The reality is life is gonna hit us at some point. Every single one of us is gonna be hit with something that we're not expecting. We're gonna have we're gonna stand on the top of mountains, and we're gonna hit the valleys as well real deep in the river at the bottom. We're gonna get those things. And here's the thing. Where we're truly sculpted is in the lows. Right? It's actually when things don't go our way, when things have come out of the blue, where we feel that we've just got totally knocked to our knees.

48:53That if in that moment, in that storm at sea and that storm in our life, whatever it may be, in that moment, if we can just remain calm and look for the gift in it. There's always a gift. There's always a gift. That's where you that's where you create great depth and meaning to your life. That goes back to one of your three big words, calm. And, you know, I think most of us think of calm as a personality trait, but I know you refer to that as more of a professional skill. Like, how do you how do you actually train calm, you know, when the when the storms are raging, you know, real or proverbial? How do you train that? Yeah. Yeah. Yeah. Well, I realized recently where I actually learned this skill, and it's quite a funny story.

49:37Right? So so right in the beginning, 18 years old, a young yacht master instructor. And so what I would do is I'd be out on yachts, and I'd be teaching people to sail. And these are yachts that people would stay on board overnight. So, look, somebody used to ask me, you know, like, in my twenties, if if you'd have said, Paul, what do you do? I'd have said, well, I get to sleep with five different people every single week. Right? And like, oh, no. And they're like, that was true. It just happened to be on board a yachts. Right? Yeah. Right. Anyway, we we have five gs and b over. Anyway, so and then and then part of that training would would be I would train couples to park their yachts and then so to birth their yachts.

50:16Now if you ever want a great, like, ringside seat at couples therapy or couples argument, well, like, just go to local marina, grab a beer or a gin and tonic or or whatever your flavor is, and just watch on a Sunday afternoon when all the couples have really made up then because, normally, there's some mega domestic going on somewhere. You'll find it. You'll hear it. Right? So, actually, what I started doing was right back then, and it kinda just came innately, but that but now I've developed it into a skill that I teach, is that what I realized is when the pressure comes on us, right, and we start to tighten and we feel it. Right? So think about it. Focus in a dialogue physiology.

50:55Right? So for us to feel stressed, what we've gotta work out is what are we focusing on? What are we saying To our in our mind and how's our body moving. So so for us to feel stressed, we actually have to stop breathing. A lot of people don't realize that. We actually have to stop breathing. So it's kind of like what I taught them was I said, listen. When the pressure comes on, what I want you to do is rather than get stressed, pull it the other way. Get calmer. Just get calmer. You're like, what? I said, just get calmer. And so because the reality is when you lose control of that yacht, if you get stressed, what you start to do is and, you know, I say all the time, people get what I call throttle happy.

51:29So they're not thinking. They're just all the way forward, all the way back, all the way forward. Yep. And that's what happens is and the way I figured it is that was the difference between a hole in the side of somebody else's yacht Mhmm. Or it's, oh, we've ended up here now. We'll sort it out. And so what I did was I taught people that as the pressure comes on, as you feel the pressure, we actually rather than the reaction being stressed, let's make the reaction calm. K. So my question is, when can my wife and I come over and have a couple's therapy session out on the water? We can deal with that. That's very good. Very good. You know? You know, the whole the whole piece there is so good because what it does is it just dissolves all the pressure, and actually being able to do that is really important.

52:12Why is it important? Because when we go into that calm state, what that means is that we open up a scotoma in our mind, which is just a little blank space, and that allows us to think. Whereas what happens is when we get stressed, we stop thinking. We just go into autopilot mode, and then if something goes more and more wrong, then guess what happens? We just go faster and faster and faster until we freaking freak out. And this is the same with conflict. In a business, in an intimate relationship, it's the same thing. It's the same thing. What happens is is that if we were together, Jim, and I pushed against your fist, you you'd naturally push back. Right? That's how conflict happens. Right?

52:53So in so in an intimate relationship or in a relationship with whatever. So if we're all if, you know, if us as the leader or or we're turning up in a stressed state, then we cast the shadow. We get stressed together, and then it all just spins up. But what we've gotta do is learn how to just dissolve it all back down the other way. You know? And being able to interrupt the pattern and actually create a new pattern coming off the end of it. And the way that myself and my wife have done this, and this is great. And it works a treat for us. And we say to our friends and they and we wind them up. It's so funny. We have something called take it back with immediate effect.

53:29Oh. Oh, I like that. What this is is that if we've got triggered because the truth is no one triggers you. You get triggered. Right? It's not whatever goes on the outside, it's us that have been triggered. And, actually, if we're triggered, it's normally a sign of that's exactly the bit of our mindset and our life we need to lean into to sort out. That is where the growth is for us if we're getting triggered over stuff. Right? So, actually, what's interesting, what we've learned to do is we've gone if we said something if we're a bit, you know, narky or a bit stressed or whatever, and we said, oh, some of that, we just got angio feeler, and you're like, oh, don't let it.

54:01You just go take that back with immediate effect. And we've got five seconds. And then if what happens in every five seconds, we'll turn around and and take it back with immediate effect. And I say it's dissolved. It's done. It's never brought up again. Man, that worked so well for us, and it it it really has. And then it's so funny. Like, we teach the friend our friends, and then you see them take it back with immediate effect. Right? And he goes, okay. Okay. Okay. I take it back of the immediate effect. And then ten minutes later, she's back on. He's like, no. No. You can't come back to it. You got it. That's it now. He said, take it back. It's done. It's done.

54:33It's done. But and vice versa, works the other way around. But I think the key is with all of this piece is that that all of that comes back to state management. All of it. Mhmm. Yeah. It does. It it really does. And control too. You know? And and I I know in your intro, I I said a lot of things, you know, about you and just what an interesting life you've led and some of the things that you've overcome. And, I mean, you think about control. You know, apply that to storms at sea, apply that to a commercial turnaround, or apply that to cancer treatment. You know, those are some pretty big things, you know, and at least two of the three, you know, are life threatening.

55:07You know, of those three things, you know, where when did you feel the least in control and and how did you deal with that? Okay. So a great question. So that has to be when I was diagnosed with follicular lymphoma, Hundred percent. So what happened was we had built Oyster up to a certain level. Right? But there but there were still issues in the fact that it was trick it was tricky for the production teams to make the yachts profitable. And, therefore, the business was looking to reduce the overheads, and I had a fairly chunky salary. And so I was basically gonna be one of the casualties of that. And then so they asked me, listen. We can't really afford you anymore, Paul. So could you become a consultant, work half the time, etcetera, etcetera?

55:45And so I was a bit like, not really. Yeah. So I wasn't that happy about that. But, anyway, the point was we agreed that I that I was gonna leave the business. So that was a blow. That was a blow to me. Right? Because I put my life and my soul, my energy, and time into this thing. So that's one thing. But then two weeks later, when then you get a call saying you've got follicular lymphoma, that's a whole other level because everything else just dissolves. Right? Mhmm. Now what was interesting was my skipper brain just kicked in, which is what's the next move? Solve the problem. And so I and so what I did was I really just, a, number one, I was like, okay.

56:20What do I need to do to sort this out? Alright? Mhmm. Or what and so I focused on what I could control, and I realized that I needed three things in place to turn my health around. Mhmm. Real so number one was I thought, right, mindset. And I'm I'm, yeah, I'm good at this. I teach this stuff, so I'd say this is actually a real teach this is actually a real gift because I can teach from this if I could I've gotta actually do what I say now, you know, 100%. Right? And and not just in a business world or in another setting. Right? Mhmm. Number two was my nutrition. I could control what I pick up and put inside my body. Right? Simple as that.

56:54Number three then, I needed a, you know, a world class medical team to do the intervention, right, and to do that piece. So and and what I very quickly realized was that two of those I could fully control, mindset and nutrition. And so I was lucky enough that the local hospital here is the center of excellence for blood cancer in The UK. So I had the absolute best guy treating me. But then the other two bits, and this is the bit where the diagnosis is really tough on people, it's the not knowing. It's the uncertainty. It's not like you almost it's you have this you have the biopsy. It's the waiting. So then and our mind is very good. Remember, our mind doesn't know. We talked about earlier the difference between what is vividly imagined or what is real.

57:37Yeah. Your mind just goes racing off giving all these things. So what happens and means I'm gonna die? What happens if it sends those signals to your body and, you know, and impact you. And it really you up. And then so what I realized was I was like, okay. Why understand this? The human beings are meaning makers. It's the meaning that eats us up. Right? And this is why two people can go into the same situation but come out with completely different meanings. And so I I had to I realized, okay. I choose the meaning. This is either gonna be the end or the beginning. I'm gonna choose that this is gonna be the beginning. The the start of something new, an insight, something that I can do.

58:12What and asking the question, what's the gift in this? What's the gift? What's the gift? And really by doing that, what it did was it allowed me to navigate my way through it. And in the interim bits where I needed to wait, I did what, you know, the old I don't know whether the Buddhist monk or somebody said, chop wood, carry water. Right? Which, you know, I'll paint that wall. I would do this. I would do this. Keep my mind active on other stuff. Things that I can control whilst then I go through the health piece to to get that back on control. It's fantastic that you already had that sort of personal philosophy. You know, not everybody does. Not everybody has that that, I guess, life experience that led them down that path or in that direction.

58:52So I'm really glad that that worked so well for you. I mean, is it harder for you to do personally than it is to, like, coach other people to do? I mean, when you're in it, I mean, was there was there a period where that didn't kick in and and you just kinda struggled for a little while? Or was it almost immediate? Yeah. Yeah. Of course. Yeah. No. Mean, it's certainly I I always remember that there was one CT scan where I kind of lost it. As in so you go in, I you know? And and so I was like, skipper brain. So I talk about the skipper brain, which basically solved problems, right, and fast. So I was like they're like, okay. So, Paul, we're gonna need you know, we have the results from biopsy.

59:30This is what that is. Okay. So I was like, great. Okay. No problem. I was like I said, okay. So then what's next? You need a CT scan. Great. Yeah. They'll be in touch within two weeks. What? I was like, I can't wait two weeks. There's no way. So I walked straight out of the the consultation room, and I called the radiography team, and I said, hey. Look. I work fifteen minutes away from you. If you ever get a cancellation, I will be with you day or night. You just call me. Twenty four hours later, somebody canceled. Bang. I'm straight in there. So Wow. Wow. Yeah. And then so and then so that was just the exact just Accelerate. Mhmm. That's no different, by the way, from phoning DHL and in between B and H.

1:00:04Right? It's the same. Right? Absolutely. And then so got the CT scan. I remember it was a CT scan on a Sunday morning. The hospital was really quiet, and it went dead down this corridor in, whatever, came out. And then I asked a question that I forgot. I just said, are the images clear? Because now I know that the radiographer is seen inside me. So and I know that they know what they're looking at. So she thought that it shouldn't take a week to get the results back. They already know. Yeah. They know. So and I said, oh, the image is clear, and she kinda just went, yeah. Yeah. That's totally clear. I kinda broke my eye contact. Well, that was it. As far as I was concerned, I was checking out in three months.

1:00:42I was riddled. I was that that was it. I mean, it absolutely knocked me for six. It really did. And that wasn't true. And it really showed me how our mind can lead us down a path that just isn't true until we have, you know, some of the facts in place. Right? So that was tough. It was also then tough. I always remember halfway through the treatment, you know, like, the first set the first, you know, cycle, seconds, you know, they're not too bad. Like, you know, they're they're a little tired, but not too bad. But what but, of course, progressively, the drugs knock you to your knees. Right? Then by the time you get cycle three or four, you're on your knees. You know, you're properly sick and not well.

1:01:16And that really probably led me to one of the biggest break breakthroughs I've ever had in my life to turn something that was really dark and something incredibly light. And that was I always remember that I was speaking to my oncologist at the time, and I said, oh, I said, can you tell me what what you know, like, when was the science done for follicular lymphoma and the treatment of follicular lymphoma? Because it's classed as incurable. Right? It doesn't it is it is controllable, but classed as incurable. Right? So and and he goes, yeah. Yeah. Sure. Like, 1982. I was like, what? 1982. I said I was watching back to the future then with Michael j Fox wanting a white pair of Nikes and a red freaking body worn.

1:01:53What do mean 1982? Is that the poll, you know, like, you know, like, is you know, because because the outcomes are generally so good that, actually, we could control it for many years. Actually, there's no real proper funding gone into it. Oh, that's ridiculous. I wasn't I wasn't on it. I just thought that was crazy. And then I remember waking up at about four in the morning. It was pitch black. I was feeling really sick. And I woke up, and it was dark. And I kinda sat up in bed, and I just thought to myself, I I I suddenly heard this little voice. Right? And it goes, Paul, what could you learn from this? And it was me, but it was me when I was maybe seven or eight years old, as an age old.

1:02:32And Paul, remember? Everything in life is a gift. Where's the gift in this? What could you learn? I was like, good question. So maybe this has been given to you so you could do something with it to help a lot more people and take what you've learned and share it on a much bigger scale. So I thought, oh, okay. Well, that's interesting. Yeah. So then I thought, okay. Right. I need to find there must be someone out there in the world that is actually looking for the cure for follicular lymphoma. There must be somebody somewhere. So then I was like so I hit Google, and it brought me to a lady called Nicola Mendelson, who is the head of global business for Meta. Right? So she's right up by Zuckerberg and all these people.

1:03:12Right? So I reach out to her. She's diagnosed about the same age as me, she and thought it was ridiculous. And so she set up something called follicular lymphoma foundation based out of The UK. Yeah. And she raised a load of money, but they fund research in America with you guys and also in Germany and also in The UK and and somewhere else as well. And, basically, because she thought the same thing. This is ridiculous. Yeah. So, anyway, so I reach out to her and I say, hey, Nicola. You don't know me, but I've been diagnosed with half a treatment. Listen. I can't help you with the science, but I can probably help you with fundraising because I've sold yachts to a lot of very wealthy people.

1:03:47So I'm quite well connected. So, anyway, she came back to me, she introduced me to a particular person, the director of fundraising within the foundation. She said that'd be great, Paul, if whatever you can do to help. And then I said to them, I said, well, look, guys. Have you ever, how'd you raise your funding at the moment? And they were like, well, you know, we've a few wealthy individuals. So I was like, okay. I said, but do do anything else? Like, well, a few people do, like, private events or run marathons, do stuff. I said, okay. Cool. Well, that's pretty much it. I was like, okay. Well, I sailed around this world around the world with this guy called Eddie Jordan. He's a painter of a charity called Amber, and every two years, they have a charity auction event called Amber Rocks, where Eddie will fill the room with people, about 500 people.

1:04:25They'll auction off stuff that money just can't buy, whether it be, I don't know, dinner with George Michael not George, boy George, you know, go to an f one track, go sailing on a big, big property. You know, all this type of stuff. I said and, you know, it does really well. I said, maybe we should model it and do the same thing for the FLF. They were like, that's a great idea, Paul. Can you help us with that? I said, sure. I said, I do you know what I said? There's one thing I'd like to do if possible, but I'll respect you if you say no. I'd just love to share my story with f l because I think it can just help other people.

1:04:55Right? And they said, that would be great, Paul. We can give you a minute and a half. I thought, what? I know. I said, no. Jesus said a minute and a half. Your favorite. I'm not gonna give it back. I said I said, you do know I used to stammer. Right? Anyway and they anyway and then so they said, alright. We'll give you five minutes. They're fine. So then fast forward to Nobu Hotel in November. It was dark, cold, walk in, walk into a room, 400 people in it, purple lit, purple stage, and I walk up and I deliver five minutes. And right at the end of that five minutes and I and I said to them prior, I said, what would be a number that you're really hoping to raise tonight, guys?

1:05:33Like, what is the number that you're gonna walk out of here? And you're gonna celebrate, and you're gonna be like, we've nailed it. We've crushed it. We've done it. They're like, Paul, if we could raise a 100 k, if we could raise a 100 k, amazing. Well, okay. Cool. They walked away, and I thought, that is a massive undershoot. We've gotta be able to do more than 100 k. Anyway so then I get up. I tell my story, and it was, to be honest, the most important five minutes I've ever ever had a microphone in my hand for. Because if we cure follicular lymphoma, the truth is it spills over into many of the blood cancers and many of the incurable cancers as well, like pancreatic cancer, breast cancer, prostate cancer.

1:06:11And this little known blood cancer that actually hasn't had any real funding could well be the very linchpin that cures the whole freaking lot for the whole of humanity. And so at the end of that, I had this moment where the audience were clapping, but the whole place just went quiet in my mind. I could see them clapping, but I couldn't hear them. Yeah. And I just heard that little voice again, and it said, here you go, Paul. This is why you were given this gift. This is why you were given this gift. And I walked off that stage, you know, and we didn't raise a 100 k that night. We raised £550,000 all for follicular lymphoma. And that event now has gone on and been run three or four times in succession, has raised about £3,000,000 directly to go into follicular lymphoma to research this.

1:06:59So I share that because sometimes the darkest days of our life can be the lightest days. Yeah. Absolutely. You know? Sometimes the days when things don't go our way or people have been bad to us or things have gone wrong, actually, that if we search for it and we look for the gift, that actually could be a huge gift and lesson in a way that we can develop and we can grow and we can help other people and help and live a life that has deep meaning on that amazing little dash that we have between our birth year and whatever our death year is. That little dash that goes on that head tomb that we're all gonna have. And this thing that we're living right now called life is just little necks as we go down that little dash.

1:07:42And maybe, you know, all of us are gonna that was my battle. Right? And I'm I'm, you know, I'm sure I'm gonna have another one. And but and but, you know, someone listening to this, if you're going through a tough time right now, whatever it may be, it might not be a health issue. Could be something else. It could be a business issue. It could be a relationship breakdown. It could be something wrong with your loved one, your children, whatever. The truth is is that life is gonna come at us and hiss us hard at times. But if we can do the work before the storm comes, do the inner work, build resilience in ourselves, look for the gift, and actually lean on other people Mhmm.

1:08:15Be the rock for other people, then, you know, we can navigate our way through together. Paul, that's it's so beautiful. And, you know, it's almost like you're reading my questions because I I was gonna get into that in that gala and that speech and how it was such an important moment, not just for you, but for so many other survivors and for so many people in the future who are gonna deal with those types of things. You know? And I I think that it's hard to be vulnerable like that. It's not an easy thing to do, you know, to one on one sometimes is not easy, but in front of a room full of 400 people, you know, I really gotta commend you. I mean, it was did you did you have any thoughts about holding back, or was it just, man, you just knew that was your moment, and you needed it.

1:08:56I think yeah. I think, like, in in the beginning when I was diagnosed and coming out of Oyster, same thing, like, you know, with the fact that they come to me to say, listen, Paul, Time for you to leave. You know? I didn't want anyone to know that because I kinda took it personally. I thought it was you know, I lost belief for a period of time. Mhmm. Now Eddie was with me through all of that. And, actually, my diagnosis really got it kind of inspired him to get a mole checked on the back of his leg, and it and it was melanoma. So thank god he did that. Obviously, he then unfortunately developed prostate cancer a few years later and passed away last year.

1:09:29So as you know but the no. I mean, I think what I've learned to do is just be open and honest because the truth sets us free. It really does. And it really does. And I think, you know, whether somebody likes that truth or not, I think what it what the whole experience with the health issues taught me is that, you know what? There was a mantra I heard when I was very young. I lived my life by it. One life, live it. And I think that's such a great man mantra because it's true. As far as we know, there's only one life, right, from a science fight. You know, we've all got different beliefs and different things about what happens after. But as far as we know, the physical world is one life, and so many people don't fully live it.

1:10:05You know? That's so true. That's so true. You know, I it takes me right into the next next, kind of line of questions related to, you know, leadership. And, you know, I know that you talk about leaders becoming lighthouses for their teams. Yeah. And I think that's a really important thing. Obviously, it's, you know, straight from the sea, straight from sailing and whatnot, but it's it's such a so so apropos for all of us, you know, in life. And when you look at all the the genuinely dark moments you've had in your life, you know, who who are those lighthouses for you? So, for sure, my family. For sure, you know, significant people in my life. Eddie was one of them, for sure. So Eddie was really the father that I I that I missed when I was growing up.

1:10:46You know? My family, my beautiful wife, Audrey, my children, her lighthouse is for me. But on something that I, you know, I do teach that I think is really important, it is what lighthouse leadership really is. And I can tell you when you're out there on a, you know, on a dark night, and this is the I can remember the days before GPS and screens. So you didn't know where you were. And you're out there. It's completely black, but there's this one light shining from the coast. Mhmm. It's one light, and you know if you either follow that light, it can guide you in, or it wards you off any danger. Just stay away from it. And I believe the great leaders are the same thing.

1:11:23Because if you think about it, what is a lighthouse's job? It's to stand on an exposed bit of coast, get battered by all the wind, the rain, and the horrible stuff. Sometimes it's have no visibility. It's gonna be gale force winds, horizontal rain, and sometimes it's gonna see beautiful dawns and calm seas. And its job is to stand there and not move. Just be calm, have clarity, and shine a beautiful light out to sea. And that light, I believe, is our inner light. And what I truly teach people to do is to turn up the brightness of that inner light. So dig deep in it. What it is is people, they go through life, and their light dims for whatever reason. Maybe they've lost belief.

1:12:06Maybe they've had an issue. There could be all sorts of different things. Maybe they've licked them to somebody. Gone out in bad relationship. Maybe a business has gone wrong. What happens is that light just gets a little bit dimmer, a little bit dimmer, a little bit dimmer. And the way I view it, what I do is I help people reconnect with that light and turn it up so freaking bright that the beautiful thing is you switch a light on in a room, a single candle in a room, all the dark goes. Right? You see that light. And I believe that great leaders are exactly the same thing. So I always say that if you wanna be a great leader, you've just gotta remember to be the lighthouse and not the weather because the weather is dangerous.

1:12:43You know? And I I tell you what. I know that yeah. Again, I knew Eddie was one of your lighthouses, and, you he's gone now. But, like, you're carrying on his legacy. I mean, you are you are helping shine his bright light beyond, you know, beyond his his, you know, breathing days. And, you know, what if Eddie could see what you've done, you know, with his foundation and all these things? You know, how you do think he'd feel about it? Would he yeah. You know what? I'm I'm thinking, you know, I'm thinking about, you know, his sense of humor. I'm exactly what he'd say. Yeah. I'm exactly what he would say. Okay. What would he would say, I freaking made you. I made you. I own you.

1:13:21I own you. I made you everything you are. That's what he would say or something But, like you know, in fairness, he was great. Like, you know yeah. And, you know, it's funny because I still feel Eddie around me a lot. You know? I've you know what do? I feel him. I I can hear him in my ear. You know? You can hear him if if I'm in a situation or I'm not sure what to do. I hear Eddie go, come on. Just make a decision. Crack on. You know? And it it's yeah. For sure. He definitely was a beacon a beacon of light. But I think the key is we're all beacons of light. It's the truth. You know, I know it comes might sound a bit ethereal, but, you know, the point is is that if we shine a light to our team, to our patients, to ourselves, to our family, my god, what's possible?

1:14:00The answer is anything. Right? That is the true answer. And it is a choice. I mean, it's a choice. You talked earlier in this conversation about that aura that we project around us, and, I mean, it almost precedes us walking into a room. But once we're in that room, what kind of frequency are you gonna vibrate at? You know, what are you gonna give to the world? Are you gonna, you know, put out that lighthouse vibe, that that positivity that's gonna attract people, or are you gonna repel them, you know, by, you know, walking around like Eeyore? Yeah. Yeah. That's right. That's that's exactly right. It is absolutely a choice, and it is a choice. And if you think about it, a lighthouse is useless with their energy.

1:14:36Mhmm. The lights there. You know? So, you know, we we have we say we have to show up energy rich. And I think also as well, there's something that Eddie would always say is be the light in the room. Mhmm. I've taken that to lighthouse leadership, but actually be the light in the room. When you walk into the room, if you're the light, guess what? You could own a room. You are that guy. You are that guy, Paul. I mean, you are that lighthouse personified. Every time I've seen you, you know, whether it's online or in person, you do. You light up the room and you you bring people with you. You know, when when you talk to founders, you know, behind closed doors, you because you that's what you do.

1:15:09You know, you're talking to people who aren't always that lighthouse, but they need to learn to be that. You know, it's a trained skill. And once you do it and I don't like the word fake it till you make it, but to some degree, you know, do it until you become it. You know, when when you are talking behind closed doors with a client, you know, what what are the hardest truths that you have to share with them? You know, things that they don't really wanna hear, but they really need to hear. Yeah. I mean, the key the key is there is you've just gotta say it as ears or say it as you say it. You know? And Mhmm. I think some of the hardest truths is just being able to hold up the mirror and go, you know, if the founder is maybe frustrated with their team, whatever it may be, you know, my first question is, well, what role did you play in all of this?

1:15:52Yeah. That's right. And then That's right. And it's normally like, well, I'm Nah. I'm working hard. I said, I know all of that, but what role did you play? You haven't answered my question. What role did you truly play? Like, because no matter how thinly you slice it, there's always two sides. And so I know that if a team is off is misfiring, then it comes back to the engine management. You know? So, you know, we've gotta look at the psychology of the leader to make sure that they're, you know, in a great place. So sometimes peak people are on a team. They shouldn't be on a team. We have to make tough decisions around that. Yeah. I'm sorry. But, like but the point is is that where it gets tough with founders is, you know, being able to hold up the mirror to them and say, look.

1:16:32You've you've got to accept. You've got to own the facts that this frustration is coming from you in some way, shape, or form. And that is for people there. Are notorious. We're notorious for being the problem in our office. You know? I mean, not to say we're the only problem, but too often, you know, our egos don't allow us to take a hard look in the mirror and recognize recognize that. And, you know, somebody like you, I mean, that's kinda what you're being paid to do to some extent. You know? I mean, like, I'm gonna pay you a lot of money to come and tell me I'm the problem. And that, I mean, that can't always be easy. I mean, do you I mean, I would guess, Paul, because you have such a great way about you that most most dentists, most clients, they respond favorably to that.

1:17:15Yeah. They do. Because because I keep it light hearted. I kinda know when to maybe crack a bit of a joke and just keep it light. That's the thing. I can keep it light, but then when we need to go deep and heavy, I can do that too because I'm not afraid of the silence. Yeah. Yeah. Look. There are a lot of dental practice owners out there listening to our conversation. I mean, what what you tell them? You know, when things just feel heavier than they should be, you know, when all that pressure, all that stress is crashing down upon them. I mean, what what do you tell them? I mean, how how should they look at that? How should they get through those difficult days?

1:17:48Well, the first thing is they need to know that they're normal. Right? So that's totally normal to have to feel all of that pressure, etcetera. The second thing is that if they haven't got a support team around them, they need to get a support team around them. If their team isn't fully supporting them, that's a whole other question. We would need to look at that. But, actually, get that support team around them and talk to somebody. And, also, the other p piece around that is to realize that if you're feeling all the pressure from the business, it means that you, a, you're probably doing things that you shouldn't be doing. Now what do I mean by that? You know, from a leader's point of view, you know, there's certain things that only you can do, but it's not everything.

1:18:26It can't be everything because then you're a one man show, one man or one woman show. If even if you got a team of 20 people, if you're doing everything, you're not properly, you know, delegating out to that team and leveraging that teams. Mhmm. What could you take I always call DOA, which is delegate, outsource, or automate. Right? So but the so you could apply this in a slightly different way. Let's go, what activities you're doing now that maybe somebody else could do in your practice that you're doing? Now it could be I don't know. It could be payroll. It could whatever it is. It could be it could could be a lab work. It could be speaking to the maintenance company to get the chair fixed.

1:19:07Whatever it may be. Yeah. You know, we like, we've gotta get good at letting other people thrive and grow around us. Mhmm. Let and just giving that work out. And then because then what that does is it just really focuses our mind on what's important as opposed to feeling like we've got everything to be done. Yeah. Right? That's the one. Number two is you need some type of health stroke physical activity routine. It's so good for our health. You know? That frustration needs to come out, whether it be walk. I know, Jim, you you did a load of stuff in the gym. Right? So you did all the you work out. Whatever it is, we go and move ourselves because that is just good for us from a physical point of view.

1:19:46It gets it gets the stress out of us. You know? Yeah. That's an important piece. And then the third is that, you know, if you haven't already got one, you you should obviously have a coach or or mentor or a trusted adviser or a friend that's gonna be there. There's somebody that you can just vent at. Mhmm. I heard this thing recently. I loved that. I thought it was great. That when somebody comes to you with an issue, it's normally one of three h's that they're really looking for. Right? It's either they wanna be hugged, they wanna be heard, or they wanna be helped. It's one of Recognizing which of those is a is a unique skill set. Recognizing which. Because it's different. Right? It's like we just wanna help all the time, but sometimes people wanna be heard.

1:20:26Yeah. Right. Right. And they feel good good at discerning that, especially with my wife. You know? Yeah. Yeah. You usually just let's not her. I always wanna jump in there and get this give her the solution. You know? Yeah. Yeah. She's not interested in that. She she just wants to be hers, you know, or her. You know? When it comes to Dennis, I mean, I think you touched on it at the start of your answer. I I think that so many of us feel like we're alone on an island. Like, we're the only ones dealing with some of these things. That's what makes community so important. Having other people to talk to and, you know, people who maybe already solved the problem or challenge that you're dealing with.

1:21:00That goes right to coaching and mentorship. That's something that you do very well. I'm building a community for that exact reason because too many dentists suffer from substance abuse, divorce, suicide, and or or just the stress that sucks the life out of us, and and keeps us from from living our best lives and being truly happy and having some semblance of balance. You know? Those conversations are just really important, and a lot of people don't have them. Yeah. 100%. You need to be in the in the community because, actually, I I you know, I see this. It's so easy. Right? If you think about what you guys do, like, you're changing people's lives. That is a beautiful skill. Like, in such a know, you we're talking about the people that for years, you know, in the family photo, they're like, you know, about smile.

1:21:48Right. Right. Right. Know what I mean? And that well, actually and actually, it's kinda like, you you know and that beautiful moment, you know, right at the end of treatment where the mirror goes up and they open you know, and there's normally tears, and it's, like, gorgeous. Yeah. You have that skills. And, of course, the way that your profession works is that you have that moment, and maybe you're like, great. They're done. Right. On to the next one. Mhmm. Yep. It's really important to celebrate the impact Yes. You're ready. You guys are creating. Because just just giving that confident and radiant smile back to somebody unlocks so much more in their life. That it does. What can happen is is that you guys, you do so many of these things that you kind of the lore of familiarity kicks in, which means you kinda don't necessarily fully you know, kind of the bit of you just takes it for granted.

1:22:37Yeah. Therefore too routine almost. Yeah. Yeah. Think that's not never be routine. She would, like you said, warm beds. Time. You know? Celebrate. Yeah. Celebrate. Exactly. Celebrate. Take the lights. And, also, not be trapped in the bloody tyranny of comparison. You know? Yes. Doesn't matter how many you know, look. Like, hey. You know, we wanna get our dental practice to so and so. We wanna do all that. I get that. But, like, it can't just be growth for growth's sake. You know? Like, there's a a really great story about a guy called John. It's very recent in Ireland. John was, an entrepreneur, and he built a business up. He built huge business up. He he actually I believe I don't know whether he'd won entrepreneur of the year in Ireland, but he was certainly on the board of that.

1:23:19He was certainly a very well respected Irish entrepreneur. Anyway, he's 52 years old, I think, somewhere about there. Anyway, he sold his business. He closed the deal. They put a €100,000,000 into his bank account, and twenty three hours later, he had a heart attack and died. Oh, no. Oh god. How awful was that? Jeez. I remember, and I think that that there's just a lesson there for all of us. Right? That you know? And I I I personally didn't know John, but I know people that do know. It's like like, the point is is I remember standing in a room with with doctor Garg, yeah, and with the team at Dan to set, and we said, right. And so we're like, who wants to make more money?

1:23:59Go to this side of the room. Who wants to have more magic moments for their family? Go over here. And who wants to I can't remember what the third one was now. It was something else. Right? Anyway, forgot about the third one because, like, 99% of the room went over here. So I I told over to we just wanna make more money, but the family then came second or the magic moments came second. And the truth is so then I told them story of John. I said, listen. It's so easy to get on this on this train of spin up of just constant growth, constant growth. Gotta make more, more, more, more, more. But if you're not enjoying it and you're not creating magic moments with your family, then what on earth is it all for?

1:24:32Yeah, man. You know, let let's take a step back. Let's look at the the Paul Adamson from twenty years ago. You know? You're a young man. Like, what what do you believe about leadership today that you didn't understand twenty years ago? The willingness to have a difficult conversation is actually the easiest conversation. So Is it? Twenty years ago years ago, I would find it tough. I would just you know, generally, I was a pleaser. I'd learned I'd grown up and learned to be a pleaser. So I would find it very tough to have any type of conflict. And now I'd I'm not afraid of conflict now in a in a healthy way, not like in a crazy way, but, like, in a healthy way. I'm I'm really happy to have an honest conversation with somebody and just tell them the truth.

1:25:16So that is, for sure, something I've heard because the truth sets us free. And sometimes you gotta be able to have the conversation to challenge somebody, to ask them the questions so they understand the breakthrough. They'll break through on their own because suddenly they go, oh my god. That's it. All I gotta do is x. And I go, I don't know. You tell me. That's it. That's it. You know? You and I both know that it's human nature to avoid those things. You know? And if we do eventually have them, we've procrastinated. You know? And and all this damage has maybe been done in the interim. So just addressing things directly is something that you've kinda learned to be way more effective. 100%. And, also, you know, you've just gotta communicate.

1:25:55And, like, simple things that, like, I learned from being on a yacht is so important. Like, say what we're gonna do, brief it, show them all of this, and then use what I call the say it back approach, which is, can we just chat? We're all on the same page. What are you gonna do? Well, I'm gonna do. Because quite commonly, what one of the issues I find on a frequent basis is that the leader's just not been clear with the team. So it's not that the team aren't performing. It's just they actually don't know where they're going. You know? It I mean, that's like if we were getting on an airplane, you jumped on, and the pilot goes, ladies and gentlemen, welcome aboard flight five to well, we have no idea where we're going, but don't worry.

1:26:32Just sit back, and they'll serve you very soon. Hopefully, we've got enough fuel, but, you know, don't worry. It's all good, and thanks for flying with us here at Delta. You know? Or whatever. Yeah. Yeah. What the hell can I be on this plane? But it's the same in the business world. It's that, like, if we've not created that really clear horizon or that clear vision and then communicated that with our team and made sure and just check back in our team, make sure they understand where we're going and why and what role do they play in creating this Mhmm. Then, actually, then, you know, we can't, you know, get upset with them if we haven't been clear with them. And quite often, team performance can come down to just poor clarity.

1:27:11That's it. Mhmm. And, actually, clarity and everything else flows. You know? I think that, you know, an important point to make, I mean, I think we briefly alluded to it earlier, but you're married to a dentist. You know? Audrey's been a dentist for, you know, however long, and you've spent a lot of time in her office, you know, working with on her business, with her team and everything. So the things that you teach and the things that you talk about, I mean, they come from firsthand experience. You know, think sometimes, you know, there there are coaches out there who are excellent and never spent time in dental office really, you know, prior to becoming that coach. But you not only have all this other background and all these other life experiences, but you've also spent time in the practice.

1:27:47So you understand the psycho I mean, Audrey's like your lab. You know? She's your Yeah. Percent. You know? I mean, you see it firsthand. You know how crazy we are. You know all the things that that go through our minds and that we struggle with. And so I I think it gives you a perspective that's a lot more valuable than it would be if you didn't have that relationship and that experience. Yeah. No. 100%. Because, you know, I see you know, I kinda see the pressure on her. I see it, and I also see the pressure on the team, and I get it. And and, you know, it just understanding that everything I ever told talked about is only stuff that I've ever either done on a yacht or I've done in a business or or I've done in a practice.

1:28:25You know? It is it is one one of those three things. And I would say the the biggest thing so so Audrey was an associate for many, many years, and then and then we bought into practice last year, which is part of a small DSO here in The UK. So it's, 17 practices as part of it. And they're modelers. And so Audrey is the principal of one, and she has equity in that. And then basically, what's really interesting is she's been in there a year now. And, you know, I mean, they've doubled it. And, actually, the biggest thing, if if I cut it all back, there are a few moments. And, you know, all change happens in a moment. Right? It's a moment in time where we alter course, make a decision, do whatever.

1:29:03Few things that we did, which we think is super valuable. One, I would say that the biggest difference, the biggest change is new energy and all the high energy. And she come in and a new energy in that place, and that has absolutely, you know, transformed that team. Also, she genuinely wants to see everybody thrive. So everybody. So, you know, I always say that our role as a leader is to look after our team in a way that is genuine. And what I mean by that is that I always say, listen. What do you need to be successful here? Like, what do you need? Tools, resources, skills. Is it a physical thing? Is it, like, a new computer system? Is it the Wi Fi needs to work quicker?

1:29:44Is it that you need a new chair? Is it that you need you know, what is it that you physically need? What do you personally need? So that any skills you want, and we can help you upscale there. And it might not be me, but it would be somebody else teaching them whatever that will put you on different courses. What do you need to be successful? Mhmm. Because, actually, I I think one of the hallmarks of a great leader is that they're comfortable with their team outgrowing them. Absolutely. But, you know, I love that answer. And and I think that I mean, it's leadership one zero one. You know, try to hire the right people, but put them in the right position to be successful and give them all the tools they need to be successful.

1:30:21And you just said it. You have that actual conversation. It's like, what do you need? You know, how can I help you, you know, be the most successful that you can be in this position, and what does that look like? Yeah. 100%. 100%. And we've got that right down to even, like, with the associates. You know? And and everybody's like, so what are you looking to do outside? Is there anything we can help with? Is it something you know, an example might be, well, I'm really looking to buy a house. Okay. Well, let's look at how we can make that happen. You know? You know? And, you know, in terms of, okay. So that means and so we cut it back. So then what we're doing there then so it's super simple that we know, are we on track or off track?

1:30:57And then just a super simple set of KPIs because and then one, two, three, too many because our brains go nuts on that. Right? So it's super simple that people we know are off track or off on track or off track, and then that's allowed us then to really then just focus on what's important today. Mhmm. Don't be worrying about what's going on, and then just let that compound over time. Another thing we did was we, you know, walked walked in, and the computer system was so old. I mean, it was ridiculous. Like, you know, the screens were tiny. The computers was old. I was like, right. First thing we're doing, that has all been changed overnight. So we did. We pulled all the computers out overnight, put all new ones in.

1:31:32We put double computers in each each surgery. So it means that that we do decide different overhead, but it means that the dentist can be typing in notes, and the nurse can be typing in notes. So there's no, you know, to build efficiency. But, know, things like this and then make sure the Wi Fi was so fast that there's no waiting. When you hit click, there's no waiting that it hasn't saved or whatever it may be. Yeah. Little thing like that then winds people up. They're like, it's not saving or it's not pulling the radiograph quick enough, whatever it may be. So giving them the tools that they need is an example. You know, I wish, Audrey was sitting here. I'd love to ask her this question.

1:32:06But, you know, if if she was sitting here and I asked her, what do people, like, misunderstand about Paul Adamson? What what would she say, do you think? Oh, that is a really good question. Oh, that is god. Gee. Because she totally blindsided me with that one, Jim. Wow. That's like a boof right there. What would she say that people miss about me? I think people are not sure where to place me. And so what I mean by that is it's like and I've been on this journey. Maybe it's me. Maybe it's me that's the one that's in that place me. Right? It's kinda like I think people like, what? Is he a business coach? Is he a is he a motivational speaker? Is he, like, what what actually does he do?

1:32:45And the answer is to all of those things, which I'm you know, I know that in the business world, there isn't actually the right because you gotta niche down. Right? So you gotta niche down. Well, it's hard hard to give a a thirty second elevator pitch when you're good at everything, man. I mean Well, they did. Not even, but I'm not good at it, but it just kinda No. No. You know, it's almost like I think I think what I've what I've learned to be is I've just learned to be that lighthouse and shine my light and help people get from a to b wherever b is for them and also solve problems. I love solving problems. I learned that, say, you have to solve problems.

1:33:15You have to solve it. You have and you have to work with what you've got because when you're in the revolution, you've only got what you've got. So if you're lifting up I I used to build parts for engines out of plastic water bottles. That's temporary. Three months later, oh, I need to order that pie. You know what mean? So it's kind of that piece there. But I think what I'm loving now is, you know, I set up a new business about a year and a half ago called Lighthouse Training. Lighthouse Training's core mission is to basically take the world of leadership today and help people turn up that inner light and be that lighthouse for their teams in whatever role that may be. And, you know, I've almost I'm almost know, before we came on the conversation here, Jim, we were talking about, you know, one of the things I'm I'm almost there, but I'm not quite there yet is completing, you know, book.

1:34:01Working title, be the lighthouse. You know? I I Oh, that's oh, I like that. That's perfect. It goes with everything else. It ties everything together. Yeah. Yeah. And, basically, it teaches people how to shine, and shine is the framework. Right? And then then it's applied to how would I apply this to either rebuilding Oyster to helping, you know, Audrey and and her team within the practice, whether whether it be sailing a yacht at sea, whether it be dealing with a, you know, a lymphoma diagnosis, whatever it is to be. What I've learned to do is shine, whatever. And I and I think that there's a piece as well around I just think people need more optimism in this world. It's such a fucking dark world at the moment.

1:34:40Right? I think people we want more people being beacons of light that actually are spreading good news and positivity and just, you know, being genuine great people who actually, like, have just learned to get out their own way. Yeah. And trying to communicate that and get it into a marketing message of ten seconds. To be honest, that has been the biggest challenge. I'm still not there. And even with AI, it's even more difficult because it's like, you know, he's trying to distort you. That's it. But you know what? Like most people, as they said in the life of Brian, the film, the Monty Python film, I'm making up as I go along. Well and there's and there's there's nothing wrong with that. And but, you know, I I kind of made the joke earlier.

1:35:21When you're good at everything, it's hard to really categorize yourself. But there's some truth to that. Like, when you have a lot of interests, you know, and you've had such a such a, I think, a rich life, I think it's it's tough to actually pigeonhole yourself or describe yourself in thirty seconds or less. And and it shouldn't be easy for anybody to describe you like that because, you know, you're a well rounded guy with a lot of interest, and I think you have a lot of value to share with the world. I wanted to talk about your book and we talked about it briefly before we started, so I'm glad you brought it up. And and I love the title and I love how it ties into everything else that you do and it's I I can't wait to read it personally.

1:35:57Yeah. Well, listen. I'll be sending you a copy, Jim, for sure. You know? That is for sure. You know? Can't wait. I can't wait. You know, going back again, like, look at that seventeen year old Paul Adamson, you know, on the River Dee with a sail on his back. Like, if he could see your life now, what would surprise him the most? And what would just be, of course, that's how it all turned out? So I think what would surprise him the most is that I actually did what I dreamed that I wanted to do on the river day Yeah. Which is that, you know, for the benefit of those listening, when I was young and I got into sailing so I started sailing when I was 11 years old, and I got totally hooked.

1:36:35It was totally I I I loved it. Love it. I still do. Love it. You know, I love it. It's passionate. And and so what I used to do is I used to bunk off school. I used to skip school and basically put the sail on my back and think of that and then go and just sail all day. Well, I played this game called sailing around the world. Oh, no. Totally free. And you did it. Sailing around. And then to actually have done that and sailed around the world, that is just like you know, to have that dream come true. Like and I think that was the other thing that we went to a whole lymphoma piece. It's like, you know what? If if this is the end of my dash, you know what?

1:37:06If there's a bloody I've lived a great life. Have I lived have I had one life? Have I lived a 100%? I've done so much cool stuff with so many cool people. If this is the end, that's okay. I'm cool with that. I'm cool with that. I hope it's not. But if this is the end, I'm cool with that. So I think that that is one thing that that it it worked out that, you know, the stammer didn't get in the way. Stammer and speaker. You know? Back back then, that 17 year old lad could hardly put a sentence together. So I think that side as well. And then I think so yeah. I mean, no one can predict the journey. Right? And and I had a moment even just this last weekend.

1:37:42So we myself and Audrey have two beautiful children. So Charlie and Anna Grace. Charlie's 10. Anna Grace has just turned nine. And they're both sailing their boats on the river, not the River Zay, but on the river that's close to the house here. And I'm coaching this particular fleet. It's called the Aras Hera. It's a little boat that children sail. Right? And to see them have the same love of sailing and sailing around, even years earlier when I was working in that shed, scraping by with the shed in behind, I was like, that this actually is a beautiful moment. Even then, I couldn't imagine how all of this has unfolded. And I think I think the big lesson there is one belief I've always had is it'll always be okay.

1:38:21Yeah. No matter what comes into my experience, it will always be okay. No matter what has it will always be it'll find it we'll find a way through. Because that's the truth in life. Right? Every storm has an ending. And once the weather has gone through, what normally happens is this beautiful new day, dawn, or new clear patch of weather appears. And I it's the same in our lives. So I think I would definitely do that to have realized that to have had that blessing, to have sailed around the world, to have literally met the girl of my dreams, to have had two beautiful chill children, and then to have gone through this journey of discovery and, like, the sculpting that now when I stand in a room and, like, I was privileged to go over and speak for DSO in Fort Myers, Blue Sea Dental, few few weeks ago.

1:39:12Right? This great great business. I can't I think there's about 25 practices in there. Lovely. Amazing guy that set it up. He's a fantastic Great guy. Yeah. He's doing really good things there. Yeah. It it's just beautiful. And and and I ran my first shine workshop based off the framework in my book. Right? And it was the most beautiful day. And, actually, to be able to take all of those skills that I've learned over the years and bring them into a room, because what I'll very quickly do is get microphones out into the audience, and we'll just talk. We'll have a conversation. We'll say what needs to be said. We'll deal what needs to be dealt with. And what we do is we just create these, like, beautiful breakthroughs in a room where you say and it's a real privilege to do that, and it's a real privilege to do it, you know, in the dental world.

1:39:55And, yeah. I mean, I don't know if any of that makes sense, but I think but what I'm trying to say is everything that I've been through has given me you know, has taught me the skills to be able to do that now. Wow. Well, now you share it with others. Paul, you know, when you talk about privilege, it's been a privilege, you know, spending the last couple of hours with you. You know, we could talk for another two hours really easily. No question about that. And, you know, I said at the beginning that your three words were calm, clarity, and momentum. And I think now that people have heard your story, they understand where those words come from. And, you know, there's a depth to your perspective that comes from actually having lived through that pressure instead of just talking about it like some people do.

1:40:35You know, between the ocean and leadership and trust and cancer, responsibility, legacy, I mean, all of that. You've lived it and you're living it today. You're just such a great example. So I think a lot of people listening today, especially founders and dental practice owners, they're gonna feel like they're understood. You see them clearly through this conversation. And so I'm I'm grateful that you took this time. And if if people wanna reach out to you, what's the best way to get ahold of you? Well, the best way is just go to our web website, which is paul adamson dot com, or you can drop me an email at info@pauladamson.com, or you can hit me up on Instagram, which is paul adamson speaker, I believe, and or LinkedIn, which is linkedin.comforward /pauladamson, I believe.

1:41:17Yeah. Yeah. Love your social media, and I I always look forward to your posts. And I I think that anybody listening to this should really be following you on all of your platforms because you got words of wisdom and humor and perspective that I think is really valuable for for anybody who who's breathing today. Well, thank you very much. Thank you so much, Jim. I I look. I really appreciate coming on here and spending time with you, and I can't wait to physically be in a room with you again. You know? You just I look forward to it, man. I look forward to it. So to to anybody listening to this today, if you found something value about the about this, please share this link with a friend, because I think everybody needs to hear this.

1:41:55So thanks again, Paul, and thanks for everybody to everybody who's listening and join us for another episode of the Foundation Dental podcast next week. Take care. See you later, Paul. Thank you so much.